Friday 4 April 2014

My Security/My Dignity


For the title to make sense, we need to understand the meaning of the backslash (‘/’). 

The first time I came across the backslash was in mathematics where it denoted the creation of a fraction. Thus ¾ is ‘3 quarters’ or ‘three over four’. Later in life, the backslash came to mean an option; either one or the other – never both. I would never have believed it had you told me that a fraction would have the same result as an option. 

However, reflecting upon my most recent experiences with security guards in Nairobi, I am tempted to accept that ‘my security’ does in fact come over ‘my dignity’ and I cannot have the two simultaneously. 

“Fungua!” is the askari’s way of asking if she may search my bag. I was tempted to say “No!” and just walk away, but like many a Kenyan, I firmly pressed down my dignity and opened my bag. However when just a few days later, with my dignity smarting, I went to the door of a supermarket and the askari did not even bother to speak to me. Rather, she pointed her magic ‘beepy’ wand between me and my bag in an attempt to get me to open it. My dignity reared its proud head and I walked away! 

Amazingly, less than 100 metres away was a similar establishment with an askari who recognized me as a human being and spoke to me politely. I opened my bag and proceeded to shop for my wares. 

To those establishments that fail to instruct their askaris that their valued customer has upgraded her self-esteem – too bad! I have decided to create my own little fantasy world where my slogan is:

 ‘My Security, My Dignity’

Wednesday 5 February 2014

To Quail or not to Quail...

From the title you of course know that I am truly Kenyan! I just could not resist jumping on this particular band wagon.

The quail phenomenon is nothing new. Kenyan’s are second only to the Chinese in their ability to copy and counterfeit things. We love money and even more, we love the idea of making money. Note, I do not say that we like making easy money: for the projects in which we involve ourselves usually take great sacrifice and work.

Today it is quails; we heard that they have great healing powers and there is a ready market out there, so we jumped in and dragged our friends and relations with us. We took loans, we harangued acquaintances for grants and other means of support and we researched the best rearing methods to ensure a great crop. We however forgot to research the market.

... and that is how we have found ourselves with an abundance of quails and quail eggs. The law of economics dictates that high supply - low demand = reduction in prices. It is therefore no surprise that prices have fallen; for some farmers by over 90%! Of course, the projections and business plans that looked so good one year ago are now shot into the middle of nowhere.  I read in one of the dailies of a lady who quite indignantly declared that the quail phenomenon was not a pyramid scheme, however, we must all admit that those who got in early were the true beneficiaries.

This one may not have worked, but I wonder... when our forefathers started rearing chicken was there the same skeptisism? Maybe the guys who wait it out and let the novelty wear off will be the true winners. Only time will tell.

Right now, the government is running helter skelter trying to find a way to standardise quail rearing. I can just see the title of the one they will put in charge: 

QUA(I)LIFIED OFFICER

In the meantime, we will keep being Kenyan, we will wait for the next big thing.